"It may be that when we no longer know what to do we have come to our real work and that when we no longer know which way to go we have begun our real journey. The mind that is not baffled is not employed. The impeded stream is the one that sings."
~Wendell Berry (poet)
~Wendell Berry (poet)
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Hello everyone~
I am getting back to setting new goals and will be good about posting the "gentle movements" each week for those of you who wish to set goals. I am always inspired to hear what you are all up to and I am inspired by you. Some things that I would like to do this week are to research places to take classes and possibly sign up for one, as well as look into places to volunteer down here. I am not sure where to start with the volunteering so if any of you have suggestions for places to start I would love to hear them. Cheers! Laura
My goal is to write and then write some more. Here is my latest rough draft about my recent trip to Casper, Wyoming to present a writing seminar to 75 teachers. What an experience it was!
Casper, the Friendly Town of the West
Just back from beautiful Casper, Wyoming where the wind never stops blowing and the state bird is the empty Wal-Mart bag sweeping across the plains. What a place!
Walking out onto the tarmac, climbing the steps to the little prop plane I felt a sense of nervousness and excitement. Flights from Denver had been cancelled all day to Aspen, Vail, Phoenix and more due to weather. This flight was still on and although conditions in the sky seemed volatile, the little plane would make its journey. And what a journey it was. We took off around 4:30 and the sun was low in the sky. The propellers were spinning so quickly I could see through them. I sat, glued to the window taking in each and every bit of the landscape below me. The colors were amazing, a trip akin to taking a sunset boat cruise on the lake. The only time I looked up was to study the propeller next to me and think about how it reminded me of the biplanes on the Vineyard and other war type planes I had seen. It felt a bit like going back in time...just because of the propellers.
Little did I know just how far back in time I would actually go! After miles and miles and miles of open land and no signs of human habitation we landed on a small airstrip that looked like nothing but a small band-aid from above. After a smooth landing we taxied along and along and along, passing one small shack, a larger shack and smaller hangar after the other. It was only when I saw the control tower, no bigger than my own two story house that I began to panic. That was it? Where was the "main" airport? I wondered as we passed yet another building with the big word "NERD" posted on the side. Was this some kind of joke? Where was I and what the hell had I gotten myself into here? I was alone in the middle of nowhere landing at a non-airport. Would the rental car place even be inside? I could not wonder anymore. I turned to the lady behind me, "Ah, do you know if the Avis building is around here?" "Yes honey, it is right inside" she assured me with her thickest Midwest drawl. I heaved a sigh of relief and continued looking for anything that might be deemed a "terminal". Terminal. Then end of the line. Death, termination, the end. No, no no...don't go there silly girl. Everything would be just fine.
As I climbed down the small steps I saw it in front me. The terminal of times gone by. I flashed to the old Manchester airport where I had taken my very first flight at the tender age of 10. (Another story altogether, but suffice it to say that that adventure cured me from my ever present desire to fly and become a pilot one day!)
As I looked up I could see a window on the second floor heavy with faces of every shape and size plastered to it. Each one looking for that one person who had come in from the "other" world beyond Casper, home to their loving arms. I looked up and saw the smiling faces of old and the hands of the young plastered to the windows leaving their marks on either side of the wet mouth marks on the glass. I smiled. What a cool thing. A place where security had not taken the joy out of meeting a loved one at the airport!
I entered with the rest of the passengers and was surprised when so many people greeted other people. "Hey Jim, how are you?" I turned and looked. "Hey Mary, how have you been" (use your best Midwestern drawl here folks!) None of these people were here to meet with each other, they just KNEW each other. Ahhh...so this town was small...but perhaps smaller than I had even anticipated!! I smiled and found my way upstairs to the rental car place. And there it was. No line. Avis right next to Budget, right next to Hertz. No problem.
I went up to the counter and an enormous gentlemen with massive man boobs and stomach from here to kingdom come asked me if I had a reservation. I pulled out my paperwork and he began banging away on the computer for what seemed to be forever!! Have you ever wondered what those people are actually typing when you rent a car? It is like SO much information and it takes SO long. I can never figure out if they are writing their own mini-novel on the side of if they are just hammering away on the keyboard to look important.
As I watched him I noticed he also had what seemed to be a fake eye in one of, well, sort of in one of it's sockets. In fact, it looked more like it was actually coming out of it's socket! I just couldn't look at it, but at the same time I just could not look away from it. I started having visions of it popping out onto the desk in front of him. I could see him pick it up, smile at me and shove it back into the socket like the guy from Pirates of the Carri bean. Oh..look away, look away, and so I did. Up to his bald head and greasy hair. Why was this guy taking so damn long? Finally he finished and told me about the gas and blah, blah, blah. I then felt a pang of guilt for my disgust at this guy and politely asked him "So what is Casper famous for?" He looked at me and smiled a toothless grin and told me that he was not quite sure. "oil and steel and well, it was a stopping point for settlers way back when." I smiled politely and left with my keys in hand.
As I was about to walk out the door, I heard the man say, "Can I help you?" As I turned I saw him not at the Avis counter, but next door at the Budget counter. He had simply moved, put on another tag and was then in charge of the Budget as well as the Hertz! I laughed hysterically to myself, sure I had been caught on candid camera as the doors flew open and I blew out into the parking lot looking for my lovely silver Malibu!
I fumbled with the keys, threw the bag in the back and sank into the driver's seat. What I long day it had been. 12 hours later and I still had not reached my final destination! My only thoughts now were of finding a comfortable place to stretch out and a good glass of wine. I started the car and instantly felt as though I was 16 again. The seat was so low that I had to look through the middle of the steering wheel and the top of it. It was like Lily Tomlin takes a drive. I giggled and tried to prop up the seat, but no buttons anywhere, so I just sat up as tall as I could, searching for the directions to the Hampton Inn. Ahhh...only a few miles away, I sighed, looking for the button to reset the odometer. I looked to no avail. What a cheap car I grumbled to myself...and where was I going to find that glass of wine?
That glass of wine was not at my hotel. Oh no. No amenities for me here, but luckily I could see the Holiday Inn across the street and I was assured that there was both a bar and a restaurant. I walked in and found myself at a large table with big overstuffed chairs by myself. I hesitated at taking the large table, but the places was empty but not for a few of the locals gathered together at the bar watching a local football game. So I went for it! As the smoke curled around the bar and into my nose I was surprised to be in a public place with smoke...funny how much we are so used to our own environments. A young kid came over and I asked about his wine selection. He said, "We got lots. You want to come and see?" As I looked up into his innocent 12 year old eyes, I said, "Yes I would love to." He escorted me to the bar and waved his hand like Lana Turner to all of the wines below. After flying all day I could not even see straight and so I stood there, staring into the cabinet with wine bottle after wine bottle. "How about some of the La Cream" he said to me. And I spotted it, "Yes, I replied with a big smile!! That is my new favorite wine!" "Yea, lots of people around here seem to like it too." He opened a fresh bottle and I settled myself into the large chair and just revelled in my aloneness. I was in the middle of Wyoming at a bar by myself drinking a glass of my favorite wine and I could not have felt more at peace!! What was this all about?
After a terrible Chicken fajita, another glass of wine, and some french fries I payed my tab and make my tired way over to the Hampton. I fell into bed and went right to sleep. I did not care if it was only 6:30 at night. I had to sleep and sleep I did!
Of course I woke up promptly at 5 am. Bing! Now what? The seminar I was presenting was not until 8:30. So I worked out, had breakfast, showered and set out an hour early to arrive promptly to my engagement.
It took me over a half an hour to drive 3 and a half miles because I got lost, was fishtailing at stop signs with the stupid Malibu and was cursing myself that after being up for over three hours that I might actually be late for this damn thing! I finally found the school, nestled neatly behind another school. But at least I made it!!
After presenting at the first school, I asked the group if there was one thing I would have to see in Casper, something that would give the the true flavor or Casper, what would that be? They all chimed in unison, "Wunderbar!!" "Wunderbar?" "Yes, Wunderbar, home of the biggest beers for really cheap!" Oh, I said, wishing I was a true beer drinker!! I left with a sense of who these people are. They are people who have chosen to live in a very remote location and many have done so intentionally. They all talk respectfully and in kind about their small community and how they love being a part of it.
After only two days I found myself starting to actually slow down and mimic more of their daily pace. They did not seem to have the same New England drive that I had to get the most out of every minute, the most out of their dollars spent on me being there and I found that I liked the pace more and more. We got a lot done. We wrote a ton and had even more discussions about writing. They were all wonderful participants who seemed genuinely happy to be there! In short, they all seemed, happy. Okay, okay...not ALL of them, but the majority of them did seem happy. Gone were the drawn out faces of stress that I see in groups of teachers here in NH. Sure, there were problems, there were stresses, but it almost seemed as though they took it all in stride and were not as hung up on the testing and all of the things we seem to be here. It is a simpler life. One that I envy to some degree. It is not, however, a place I could ever live. It is uglier than ugly, with the exception of the mountain range...but the ugliness was covered over with the spirit of the people who inhabit this old ghost town!
And so it was with this spirit that I left Casper, amid wicked strong blowing winds. Winds so cold that by the time I walked from the rental car to the terminal my face and hands felt as though they were going to fall off. As I approached the counter, Good Ole' Big Bob made his way, behind the partition from the Hertz over to the Avis counter, put on his Avis button and asked,"may I help you?" I giggled to myself and returned the car, again trying to avoid and yet not to avoid the unsightly eyeball!
I went to the United Check in counter where a familiar looking woman greeted me and handed me my boarding pass. I continued on, expecting to go right to security only to turn the corner and see that security was closed!! Yes, closed!! I again laughed to myself and sat down to wait for the flight to come in from Denver. Eventually an announcement was made and the woman from the check-in counter with some others, now dressed in security outfits fulfilled the next portion of their routine. All 12 of us went through rigorous security leading us all to the downstairs. An announcement was made that we would be boarding soon and there she was, the same woman with the long hair, now the luggage and ticket taker clad in heavy outdoor Delta clothing. What does this woman do? Dress in layers? What a funny place I smiled to myself as I boarded the prop plane, looking behind me, knowing I would not probably ever be to Casper again, also knowing that I, somehow would never be the same.
As the woman with the long hair directed the plane down the runway, we took off and again I found myself enveloped in another sunset cruise. I took out my camera not expecting much, but to my surprise, the photos were pretty cool. And so it was, my one and only trip to Casper, Wyoming and although it is never a place I would want to live, I sure am glad I had the chance to experience it!!
Tomasen~
I loved your story. I have never been to the mid-west except to change planes but I felt like I was right there with you. I loved when you wrote..."but the ugliness was covered over with the spirit of the people who inhabit this old ghost town!" It is amazing how the human spirit and appreciation can improve your well being. It also surprised me that this tiny little town would have such a great guest speaker! How did they even find you?
As you know that I struggle with writing but I decided to see what images came to me on my chilly walk at Bluff Point the other day. It was finally a bit warmer and I realized how much I miss being outside and the need that I have to connect with nature. Here are a few thoughts that came to mind on my walk: Today I am calmed by the soft, gurgles of the sea, gently gliding like a child on a swing. Seagulls stand like pillars mounted on tiny islands submerged in a deep pool. The light of the day pulsates as if directed by a conductor of a vibrant orchestra, fading in and out, dictating the mood of the day.
Not much but it is a stretch from my usual journaling. I have always thought that text would find it's way into my studio work, although I am not exactly sure how just yet. It seems to be an ongoing experiment. Thank you so much for sharing and I will so look forward to you sharing more of your writing. xoLaura
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