I have been thinking a lot about "perfectionism" and what that means. Because you are all such good writers I think that I have been overthinking and censoring my entries. Believe it or not, I have a whole bunch of them that I haven't posted because of this thing called "perfectionism". I wonder if I will be interesting enough or if anyone will care what I have to say. Should I share my work? What will people think of these ideas? Am I asking too many questions? (ha!) etc... etc... the list goes on. I wondered if anyone else felt the same way or found themselves to be perfectionists in other aspects of their lives?
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
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3 comments:
Oh my goodness! Yes. Yes. Yes. I love reading every day all the things that everyone has to say. Your thoughts and ideas bring me to so many places I have never considered. There is an explosion of ideas in my mind. I truly appreciate that.
But then I begin to think about describing that thought in all its richness - and I can't so I don't or I do but then I read it again and it seems to flat and lacking.
I hope no one will burst the bubble of my delusion and tell me that I am one of the few losers who feels that way. Right now I am happily content to feel we all live with our insecurities - some days they take over more than other and at some parts of my life they have been more consuming so I assume it comes and goes in waves.
For me perfectionism is feeling satisfied. I am rarely satisfied with something until I have given it time and then come back to it - I mean real time, about a year. Then I have forgotten most of the process and I am able to appreciate the product more as it is. Are we all like that, or is that just me?
Hmmm... that has me thinking more and more, but I'll stop there.
To Look
at
Any Thing
To look at any thing,
If you would know that thing,
You must look at it long:
To look at this green and say 'I have seen spring in these
Woods,' will not do - you must
Be the thing you see:
You must be the dark snakes of
Stems and ferny plumes of leaves,
You must enter in
To the small silences between
The leaves,
You must take your time
And touch the very pease
They issue from.
John Moffitt
Thank you for sharing Brenda. I already feel a sense of relief in not being alone. Even just posting that made me wonder if anyone else would talk about it. You made me think about how often I don't take a risk and try something new for fear of being "judged" or not "good enough". What does that mean anyway? Who decides what is good? Where did we get these standards? I am beginning to realize more and more that we are our own worst critic and that it just may be possible that we aren't giving ourselves a chance for greatness.
I was very moved by the poem. It made me slow down think how we are all related in some way and need to appreciate each other. I am appreciating you right now...
I think it is about getting to that point where you just don't care! What I mean is that I go into this thinking that everyone has something to offer and I am very interested in what each person brings to the garden. Remember that if a flower is not perfect...we can still see the beauty in it and in fact, it is the imperfections that truly make them unique.
As far as I can tell, everyone here is a writer because they are writing and responding thoughtfully. It is my sense that the more we do this the more comfortable we will become. There is practice involved...and like Yoga or meditation or reading or painting...it is in the practice where we discover who we are and what we stand for. Who really cares about the product here...because ultimately this is about thinking...isn't it?
Rise above the little critic of perfectionism sitting on your shoulder. Flick him off and intend that you will be accepted as you accept others....I mean think about how YOU read other people's comments and realize that we read yours with great anticipation and with open arms. We look for the connections, the simliarities and the differences that make us go...WOW! I never thought about it that way before.
I am going into what my kids would call my "teacher mode". This is what I do for a living. I bring out the writer in everyone and believe it or not, each of you has a poem hiding within, a story to tell, a life worth examining.
I only know many of you through this blog, but I also think I know Laura well enough to realize that she surrounds herself with beauty and light and so each of you is a part of this garden and perhaps we are all in different stages...some of us are seeds still in the ground and feeling as though we are trying to "bloom in snow" (Vienna Teng songwriter and singer). Others are seedlings just coming up out of the ground and testing out the air, squinting at the sun and wondering how safe this place is. Others are reaching for the sun, spreading their leaves and basking in it. Others are gaining strength from the beauty of the garden surrounding them.
Let yourself go.
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